HUMOR QUOTES

49 - Humor

I’ve been cleansing things that matter from things that don’t matter in my life. Just like cleaning a house , refreshing the Internet browser or organizing computer files in an external drive, there’s something liberating about focusing (and keeping close to you) all of real importance and value.  I’ve found that there are 6 areas I’m particularly fond about:

1 – Humor.

2 – Consciousness.

3 – Social Interactions.

4 – Optimization.

5 – Peace.

6 – Warrior.

All of these subjects are covered in Maximizing Performance. Over the next weeks I’ll focus on those specific categories and summarize it in some thought-provoking, mind bogging, über inspiring quotes. Let’s get down to it!

“People think it must be fun to be a super genius but what they don’ t understand is how difficult it is to put up with all the idiots of the world.”

Bill Watterson – Calvin & Hobbes

 

“A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.”

Oscar Wilde

  

“A mere friend will agree with you, but a real friend will argue.”

Russian Proverb

 

“The truth is, most of us discover where we are headed when we arrive.”

Bill Watterson – Calvin & Hobbes

 

“A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.”

Oscar Wilde

  

“There are many things of which a wise man might wish to be ignorant.”

Ralph Waldo Emerson 

 

“By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually turn out to be the boss and work 12 hours a day.”

Robert Frost

 

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people whom we personally dislike.

Oscar Wilde

 

“Nothing is more common than unsuccessful men with talent.”

Calvin Coolidge

 

“A hypocrite is a person who – but who is not?”

Don Marquis

 

“Only the dumb envy the talkative.”

Khalil Gibran

 

“The envious praise me unknowingly.

Khalil Gibran

 

Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.

Oscar Wilde

 

“Tact is the ability to tell someone to go to hell in such a way that they look forward to the trip.”

Winston Churchill

 

“He was not clever enough to have enemies”

Oscar Wilde

 

“Con artists are greedy hucksters who sell us dreams that never come true.”

James Surowiecki

 

“An excellent man: he who has no enemies and none of his friends like him”

Oscar Wilde

 

“Every great man nowadays has its disciples, and it is always Judas who writes the biography.”

Oscar Wilde

 

Walt Disney’s CHICKEN LITTLE fable:

  1. To influence de masses aim first at the least intelligent.
  2. If you tell them a lie, don’t tell them a little one; tell them a big one.
  3. Undermine the faith of the masses on their leaders.
  4. By the use of flattery insignificant people can be made to look upon themselves as born leaders.
  5. “Run to the caaaave! 🙂

 

“There is nothing about an individual as important as his IQ, except possibly his morals.

Lewis Terman

 

“The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts.”

Bertrand Russell

 

“Practice is like raising a duck. If it grows fast or slow it’s the duck’s business not yours. Let go & just do your own work.”

Ajahn Chah

 

“It doesn’t take intelligence to be a jazz musician, there are dozens of prove of that around.”

Hal Galper

 

When you’re feeling bad about yourself, first check if ignorant people are surrounding you.

 

Procrastination is like masturbation. In the end you’re just fucking yourself.

 

There has never been a statue erected to honor a critic.

 

Who wants to admit inferiority, and who wants to admit this as a reason to hate others?

 

Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.

 

I am a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work, the more I have of it.

 

Rather “Lucky” than “Good”… If you’re good you can still have no luck, but if you’re lucky its impossible not to be good.

I prefer to have a friend who calls me a motherfucker then a motherfucker who calls me friend.

 

Don’t worry about what other people think about you. They’re only too busy worrying about what others think of them.

 

Don’t worry about what others think. Most people don’t use their brain very often.

 

Some laugh cause they don’t understand… Others would cry if they do.

 

S.T.R.E.S.S = Shit To Remember Every Single Second.

  

H.O.P.E. = Hold on, Pain ends

 

P.A.I.N. = Positive Attitude In Negative Situation

 

I’m actually a very nice person, until you piss me off.

 

I’m a nice person. If I’m an asshole to you, you need to ask yourself why.

 

Love me or hate me, both are in my favour:

If you love me I’ll be in your heart.

If you hate me I’ll be in your mind.

 

I have learned that pleasing everyone is impossible, but pissing everyone off is easy and fun as hell.

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